A Little Bit of Abstract and Introspection

by | August 9, 2022 | Ben's Blog |

It is another morning in August, the ninth, I believe.
Well, here I am world.
Here we are in the northern hemisphere, rounding the orbit where Earth begins to tilt away from the sun. The hours of sunlight will become shorter and soon enough the winds will become cooler and even sooner, this year will become last and next year will be another spin around the sun.

I was thinking about the childish games we play, like social chess or interpersonal checkers. I think it would be just as well if we admitted to all of this. Or, maybe it’s more fun if we went back to a simpler time – like say, maybe we can play a game of marbles – or maybe we can shoot for it or play rock, paper scissors or something like that.

You know what? I don’t want to be traditional. I don’t want to write under a literary guise, which means I have to adhere to some kind of rules. I’d rather see this as an artistic means of expression. If this is art, then let this be a piece of me because what else could I be, if not authentic (or just me).
I am not one for the great formalities nor am I trying to pretend to be anything other than this: I am a passenger here on a revolving rock that spins at about 1,000mph at the equator. I’ve read that this is where the Earth spins the fastest, which is fine. But me, I am more than 2800 miles away from this.
I think about things like this. And maybe this is pointless. Or, maybe this is my way of considering the speed of life – if there is one. Or perhaps this is my mesmerization of Earth and the fact that this rock has been here for far longer than our math considers; yet somehow, we look at the stars and contemplate whether there’s life out there or not.
We think as if we are the center of the Universe, which is far from true. In fact, we are smaller than atoms in comparison to the size of the world, let alone the universe.

I remember there was a heated conversation between two people. I heard a person say, “Yeah, well the only difference between you and God is God knows he’s not you!”
We are all too often the center of our own attention –

I think about the size of the world and how many miles there are around the equator.
I think the answer is 24,901.
I think about how many people there are in this world, which I think the answer is 7.96 billion in the year 2022. This is up from 7.917 in the year 2021.
I think about a sapling which will one day grow tall and inherit the soil from which it stands. Some day, this tree will define someone shade and one day, this tree will branch and be housing for someone’s swing – hopefully.

I think about life’s simple orders and how many people are in my direct circle of influence. I think about the people who we waste our time with, trying to impress them, trying to prove our point; or trying to seek acceptance from. All the while, we never considered that there are literally billions of other people who deserve our attention. They certainly deserve more of our time than the egocentric, the selfish, the closed-minded, the bigots, the hateful or, at the simplest level, we invest so much time in people who do not deserve our attention yet we never see our own part in this equation. 

I think if our thoughts had legs, we could run the equator marathon a thousand times over.
But to what avail?

I am thinking now . . .
It is August in New York and the streets are hot and the heat makes us crazy. I am thinking about the City, which I love, yet I see the parasitical lives which take her for granted. Better yet, I see its parasitical leaders who benefit from the poor or the impoverished. I see the mislead and the leaders who mislead them and I think to myself – is this it? Is this the best we can be?

I see the sick and the needy. I see those on the rebound or those who are looking to make a reentry to the world. I see people who are leaving their places of incarceration and I hear about the terms of rehabilitation. Then I laugh. I listen to speakers who swear they have “the next best thing” when it comes to the ideas of how to improve our planet.
And me, I’m like “Do you really?”
Really?

I am sitting in a chair which I have sat in for years. I am living in a shell which I call my body that has changed throughout my (nearly) five decades of use – and so has my uniform. This changed too. So has the way I dress and address the world.
I have changed and improved and regressed and matured. I am a person on this rock and spinning around the sun at a fast clip of nearly 1,000mph.

Do you want to know the truth?
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing –
No, really. This is the truth.

I am here and openly bleeding my thoughts to you with hopes that you see this for what it is. We have wasted entirely too much time worrying about our problems of proximity and dependant on an outside source to correct our mistakes.
Instead, we need to understand that freedom is truly boundless and rather than be leashed or held to a life that is either unsuitable or unenthusing, it’s time to start living. It’s time to start moving. It’s time to plan and grow.
Go. Be. Do.
(My three favorite words.)

I am thinking about a conversation from last night where a Woman of great note (Noticed how I capitalized the W) said to me, “Everybody” is replaceable.
I respectfully disagree. 

I spoke with a woman who is one out of 7.96 people in this world who helped me to believe that what I do and who I am is meaningful.
I can think of the people who I love most and no,
none of them are replaceable. (Especially you!)

I can think of countless people who I could live without; yet, the people who I love the most are the ones who have helped me stand when otherwise, I swore I was about to fall. 
So, no.
None of them are replaceable.

I suppose if this is true then it must be true that neither you nor I could ever be replaced – and that regardless of what we see or miss, neither you nor I could be exchanged or interchanged because we have a special inherent value. And no one can take this away.

Like many others on this rock, I spent way too much time looking to impress people or find acceptance from people who do not deserve my investment. 

So, if you don’t mind . . .
I think it’s time to put in for a transfer and find ourselves in a place where we see our value. 
7.96 billion people in the world and here we are worrying about the few who we argue with.
What a waste –
But not anymore.

By the way, I did “a thing” yesterday.
I agreed to something which if you had asked me if I could do years ago, I’d have doubted it.

But doubt is also a huge waste of time.
Know what I mean?