Letters From the Eastside – Letter Sixteen

Dear Mother Directional,

I am sending this along to you to be kept with my notes and to be filed with my other letters.
My idea is to find my vision as well as my voice. I say this because I believe I need to put this out there. I have to give myself something to see. Otherwise, what’s the point? 

I am of the belief that if you want something, you have to see it. You have to build an idea in the mind. You have to give yourself a vision and then decorate it. Otherwise, if you can’t see it, then how can you have it? How do you find what you’re looking for if you don’t know what it looks like?

I think by now, it is safe to say that my vision has changed a thousand times over. Then again, I have changed just as many times. My intentions have changed and so has my direction. My abilities have improved. At least, in some regard. As for the abilities that have not improved, I suppose this is due to a spiritual atrophy, like a muscle that’s been unused for way too long.
This means I have to give myself a personalized version of physical therapy. This series of upcoming exercise is more about my emotional fitness than anything else. This is to get the blood flowing again – to rebuild the weaker muscles and get ready for my next big step.

I can say that I know more about what I want than ever before – and maybe this is why I can be easily derailed. Maybe this is why people fail to shoot for their dreams.
Maybe because the fantasy is so good, people worry that reality might never compare. Who knows, Mother?
All I know is the clock is ticking and it’s always later than we think. 

I am sending you this vision statement to act as a contract with myself.
This is to me:
Wake up in the morning. Get out of bed, rested and ready.
There’s no stress and no worries.
More importantly, there’s no impending doom about the day which is about to begin.

Everything is in order. There’s no fear. No anxiety. No projection or feelings of apprehensiveness or uncomfortable expectations.
The plans for the day are in order and after waking up, standing up, making the bed, it’s time to move.
Go through the house to clean up and get ready to meet the day.
This includes a nice breakfast and a cup of either coffee or tea.
Maybe a little juice. 

Energy level is perfect.
Grab the keys. Grab the bag to go over the shoulder.
Nothing is out of place and the house is in perfect order.
There’s no anger. There’s no rehashing old thoughts or resentments.
There’s only excitement to meet the day.
Nothing is heavy or weighty.
The weather outside is bright and the sun is shining.
Approach the door, head outside and the winds are kind and the breeze is gentle.
The leaves in the trees sway a little with the winds.
The warmth from the sun is not too hot.
Everything is good. Life is good.

Turn around and close the door to a dream house.
See this. Let this build in the mind.
This is complete and created and looks according to the all-time dreams.
Get in the car. Start the engine. Turn on some music.
Back out of the driveway, turn the wheel. and head from the house, which is in a beautiful area.
The streets are pretty and the people are kind.

Start heading to a place which has been built in the mind.
Driving to an office where all of the goals, plans, and strategies have created a professional role where at last, the dream has come true.
A nice office. A nice place to work.
All of the efforts and all of the pain and suffering is no more because all of this has paid off, in full.
There’s a corner office that awaits. There’s a desk with everything in order. There’s a window with a perfect view.
People are awaiting consultation, which builds importance.
People are working better now and the team at work is at its strongest.
All of this is because of the pain and effort which has been put forth has led to this moment,
Here and now.

This is your life.
This is what you’ve set up for yourself.
The home, the life, the career, the way the office looks and the way your car drives, how your home looks on both the inside and out; all of this is built by you.

This is all because you learned how to endure.
Not only that; you found your secret of endurance and you let this pull you through.
This is why you have succeeded.
This is because you never quit.
You never gave up.

There is no more rejection. There are no more hurdles.
There are no more obstacles, only opportunities.
There’s no more problems, just possibilities.
This is you.
This is your vision.
This is what you want your life to look like and this is what you are going to look to replicate, each day, all day and every day.

You find yourself at work fulfilling your dream.
There is no more comparing yourself or wondering if you are enough or if your dreams are possible.

This is you and now that you’ve made it; you work to keep what you have without the threat of losing anything.
You can see your office.
You can see where your desk is. You can feel your success beating like the pulse in your veins.
You can feel the sensation of pride because you have made this so.
This is all due to your efforts to adapt and to overcome and to achieve your goals, one day at a time.

This is you now.
The past is gone. We simply do not live there anymore. 

Mother, I have written this statement and other visions statements just like this. I do this as a means to replace thoughts with actions.
I do this when I feel discouraged or when the multiple thoughts lead me in a poor direction. I do this to give myself a vision when my emotions are off or when I feel beaten. Or, to put it simply; I give myself a winner’s vision. (To help keep me from losing.)

I write these to encourage myself – to give myself a plan, or better yet, I write this to give me a view of what I want to build. I do this because I find the transfer of energy helps me with anxiety and depressive thinking.
I envision myself adapting and overcoming the adversity of the world. I see myself here, executing plans without any unnecessary compromises.
I stay true to myself and true to my needs and wants.
Moreover, I stay humble because as much as I scratched and clawed to get here; I know that all of this can evaporate in minutes – especially if I lose my humility and forget where I came from. 

Thanks for taking this from me, Mother. I will write again, tomorrow morning.

Love always, 
Your son

B-