Self Worth Evaluations

The importance of self worth and self esteem

Self-worth and self-esteem are important psychological constructs that affect not only how we think about ourselves and how we relate to others, but they also have an impact on our psychological health and functioning. Low self-worth can lead to stress, substance abuse, depression, and other impairing conditions. A strong reliance on basing one’s self-worth on external contingencies leaves the individual vulnerable to instability as opposed to the stability that is found for those whose self-worth stems from a core or internal contingencies.

I work with my clients to become more cognizant of their virtues and their inner strengths, and then show clients how to keep them in the forefront of their mind when feeling challenged or stressed. Doing so, reminds us who we really are and our worth, and if necessary, how we can improve.

What is a Self Worth Evaluation?

We begin the process with a thorough self esteem/self worth evaluation to determine where we stand and arrive at a process to raise that level if necessary. I use a battery of three different tests that give my clients a broad understanding of their current level of self esteem and self worth.

Improving self esteem and self worth levels

Here are my guidelines to building self esteem and self worth:

• Accept thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they are
  Do not judge them. They are neutral and do not define who we are. They rise up within us and can be released through the body and mind. They are fleeting in nature and can also be changed.
• Eliminate “should” from your vocabulary 
  “Should” comes from a place of judgement. Examine your beliefs, especially around your “shoulds.” Question them. What happens when you turn your “shoulds” into “coulds?” Does it open up other options or encourage less judgement?
• Do not rely on other people to provide you your sense of worth 
  They will inevitably disappoint. We have to internalize our power and make ourselves the only wielder of it. No label, position, or relationship can give us worth. Those are external factors. We have to ensure that if something or someone is removed from our lives, our esteem will remain intact.
• Forgive
  We need to forgive ourselves for our past wrongdoings. Shame, regret, and guilt sabotage our self-esteem and self-worth. We often find it easier to forgive others, but we must apply this compassion to ourselves as well.
• Take stock of your talents 
  Everybody has a gift or calling in this world. In fact, each of us have many different abilities that help others. We must identify these. If we are unsure of what these abilities are, start small. What small things are we good at? Enjoy? In what ways do we make other people’s lives better? Celebrate these; they are the very things that make us feel worthy.